 |
|
I told myself when I decided to sit down and write this that I would be honest........not only with myself but my readers as well. I've always struggled with my body image and self-esteem. Seeing my body as something beautiful has always been a difficult thing for me. I've always been short, had big legs that were mismatched from my body and I've always been kind of awkward. After having children that struggle has become more of a battle, a war within myself. I have yet to lose a lot of my pregnancy weight, in fact I've put some weight on. Mostly in part because I've created such an elaborate love affair with food and also because in some ways I've given up. I look in the mirror and see a disfigured belly from the three different times it's stretched and un-stretched, breasts that sag due to breastfeeding and that space between my thighs that used to be somewhat cute and never touched, now it does. Oh, and how did I forget the stretchmarks that seem to cover all the parts of my body that are supposed to be beautiful.
Sitting here, writing this is difficult but I need to do this for me..........and for her. My sons have a strong, confident role model in their lives, I want to be that for her. I don't want her to grow up and look up to the 95 pound pop star, I want her to look up to me. I wand to be the strong, influential woman in her life. Even if I never fully regain my pre-children figure, I want to love my body, for once feel beautiful in it. It has sheltered, birthed and nurtured three wonderful kids and the stretchmarks and weight are testimony to the lives it has created. I want my daughter to know that no matter what her body looks like, that she is beautiful and that she will be strong and I want her to learn that from me.
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteFirst off all, good for you for getting this off your chest and for being honest and for putting words to what so many women feel. You are definatly not alone in this boat and I think this blog was beautiful and you are beautiful for posting it. Don't be nervous or scared for sharing your feelings when so many women share the same feelings and want to know they are not alone either.
I know not many people look at me and think I have issues with my body. I've always been small but I haven't always been happy. I think every woman has image issues. Big, small, round, flat, lol, you get my drift. I think society puts SO much pressure on women to look a certain way and that makes it even harder to feel comfortable in our own skin. It isn' fair.
I think everyone has to do what they can do to be happy in their bodys, i.e. diet and exercise, but I also think a lot of it is in our heads. I don't need to lose any weight but I have never been entirely happy with myself either. If it's not my weight, it's my chest. If it's not my chest it's my cellulite. If it's not the cellulite it's the zits. If it's not one thing it will always be another and we have to train our minds not to think that way. How that's done I'm not quite sure but in order for us to teach our daughters true beauty we have to focus on our beauty not our flaws. And we also have to teach them that beauty is on the inside too and to never put ourselves higher than anyone else. One woman is no more beautiful than the other.
It's going to be a hard challenge having daughters and raising them to love and respect themselves and their bodies. But it's also a chance to change the way women feel about themselves when they look in the mirror and to have the confidance to say I'm beautiful and mean it. It will always be a struggle because I think that's the way our minds are made, but with a lot of support, encouragment, and love, I think our little girls are going to turn out just fine. :)
Thank you so much Amanda for the kind words. =0) It means a lot.
ReplyDeleteWith a 13-month-old, I believe the last few "baby" pounds are really not him. It's the cookie or whatever that I ate after dinner. I want to begin running again. Sure, it might be about a look, but I love the way a little exercise makes me feel.
ReplyDeleteI've started walking everyday, but not even to lose weight really, but because it makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot out of me to get motivated to go the gym but once I'm there and get it done, the rest of my day is so much better.
ReplyDelete